Love is What Matters
by Jeyz
Summary: Andrew Lister knew from a very young age that he was different from everyone around him, ever since he started to hear from some of his relatives that he "didn't look completely like a boy" or that he seemed "too feminine" compared to his older brothers. At the time he didn't pay much attention, but everything changed the year he turned 13. Androgynous!Anne Intersex!Anne
1. Chapter 1

Andrew Lister knew from a very young age that he was different from everyone around him, ever since he started to hear from some of his relatives that he "didn't look completely like a boy" or that he seemed "too feminine" compared to his older brothers. At the time he didn't pay much attention, preferring to focus on reading and learning new things that caught his interest, but everything changed the year he turned 13.

He still remembers to this day. How confused and scared he felt at the time. It all started when he was taking off his clothes while his valet at that time was downstairs getting more water for his bath. From the corner of his eyes he caught himself in the mirror and saw something that seemed out of place. He got closer and noticed that his chest looked… bigger, but not in the way according to the development of a boy. It looked more like _breasts. _He knew because he recently has been interested in the development of the human body and had gotten a couple of books about anatomy. Obviously nobody knew about this except for him.

He started to feel dizzy all of a sudden, trying to come up with, and failing miserably, a reasonable explanation for the current events. That's when he heard the faint but familiar footsteps of his valet coming down de hall. In his panic for the sudden discovery he hastily threw on his night shirt before his valet opened the door carrying the rest of the water. Andrew rapidly told him to just leave it beside the tub and leave him to bathe himself. His valet, a little confused, followed his orders and left him alone after making sure everything was in place and his employer didn't need anything else.

After the door was closed he removed his clothes fast and looked at himself in the mirror again. Yes, he wasn't imagining things, they definitely looked a little like breasts. Getting more confused he didn't know what to do. He couldn't remember reading in any of his books about something like this, he couldn't make sense of it and it was driving him crazy. He kept starring at himself for a couple of minutes and tried to calm himself, knowing that he had other things to do he set to work and decided that he will look for more information in his books and come up with a logical explanation, instead of just standing there panicking.

As the days passed that week he was getting more confused and desperate. None of the books he possessed were giving him information on what was happening and to make matters more complicated his chest was looking more and more like breasts with each passing day. Also some of his features were becoming a little "too feminine" for a boy, well, more that usual. He was becoming paranoid and insecure, not knowing what was happening. He was not someone who liked to be in the unknown. This wasn't normal. By the end of the week he started to bind his chest to try and disguise his atypical anatomy, which was his more noticeable change. He started to refuse help from his valet while dressing and became more wary towards anyone who got too close to him.

This behavior, from his family, was seen as something normal that a teenager does at that age. Meanwhile he was trying desperately to find an explanation, and getting none. The weeks became months and the months years and by the time Andrew turn 15 the "new behavior" became something common for everyone, nobody question it or him.

That is, until his family visited his uncle and aunt at Shibden Hall.

* * *

Andrew had always had some kind of special bond with his aunt Anne, so much that he liked to think that his name was given to him to show some kind of respect to her in some way or that if he would have been born a female she would have had the same name.

His mother wasn't a bad woman or anything of the sort, but he always felt that he wasn't "good enough" for her or couldn't understand him in the way he wanted to and with her passing two years prior he would never get the chance to. His father most of the time was occupied with other things, though he would always make sure that nothing was wrong with his family… and his sister, well, they got along fine and would do anything for each other, should the need arise, but their interests just weren't the same and clashed more often than not.

But with his aunt, _oh his dear aunt_, it was from the first moment he could remember that he felt some sort of connection to her, some deeper understanding just between the two of them. And that's how young Andrew, one evening when they were sure nobody was around, confessed to her his predicament. Hoping and praying to God that she wouldn't expose him and would help him find answers.

And he wasn't disappointed.

His aunt took the information rather well, considering the bizarre circumstances, and promised him that she would do anything in her power to help him, but being a woman in the kind of society that they lived she couldn't do much alone without drawing unwanted attention. So, after some convincing and reassurance to his nephew, that same day she sat down with his brother and had a long conversation.

Jeremy Lister wasn't so… _gentle, _in taking in the situation, but after hearing all that his sister had to say he concluded that he would also would do everything he could to help his son. The following week the trio, very discreetly, incurred around Halifax to look for a doctor who could help them, but soon realized that it wouldn't be that easy. No doctor they consulted could give them answers or could understand what they were talking about. The Lister clan, not wanting to give too many details to some stranger who they couldn't implicitly confide in, stopped their search for the moment. But one of the doctors suggested them that maybe, if they were able and willing to make the travel, they could find a doctor with the answers they needed in Paris.

Given new hope the Lister clan soon decided that they would travel as soon as possible, but aunt Anne would stay in Halifax and his nephew would write to her as soon as his father and him got answers. Of course, Marian couldn't stay at home with the servants all by herself so she traveled with them, much to de complain of Andrew.

* * *

The new trio arrived at Paris and was welcomed by a couple that were friends of Jeremy, who offered them to stay with them, which they gladly accepted. That night when the kids and the wife turned in to sleep the couple of old friends stayed by the fire to catch up on some matters. Eventually the subject for which the Lister family was here was brought up. Jeremy without giving much details told him that he was in need of a doctor, specialized in anatomy. His reasoning was that a relative was in need of one but couldn't make the trip himself, so he offered to do it.

His friend without suspecting anything suggested him a Dr. Jacob Reine, who was making some big break throughs in his field right now and could give him his information to contact him. The next day Jeremy and Andrew sat to talk about the doctor and his father wrote him a letter explaining a little about the "predicament" with his son. After it was sent the family had no other option but to wait for a response. Marian wanted to look around the city and father and son couldn't find a way to deny her so the Lister clan spend the rest of the day visiting all kind of places in the city.

The next day around breakfast they received a letter addressed to Jeremy Lister. He was quick to deduce that could be from the doctor, which indeed was. In his response he stated that he was very intrigued and curious for the case of this particular boy and would like to meet with them that same evening if possible. Jeremy without missing a bit, and after a confirmation from his son, replied and by 3 o'clock father and son were meeting with the doctor.

The doctor greeted them friendly and took them to his office so they could talk in private. Andrew was who talked the most of course, given he was the one who explained what he was feeling and experimenting over the past years. The doctor listened to every detail and at the end of Andrew's explanation he asked if he would be okay with showing him. Andrew at first was embarrassed and reluctant but after some encouragement from the doctor and his father he agreed.

Dr. Reine was completely professional and careful with the young person that he was examining. After he finished and Andrew dressed himself again, he prepared himself to share with them the conclusion that he had reached. He explained to them that his "condition", talking from a medical perspective, was something _very uncommon_ but not unheard of. He personally hadn't encountered a person with the same condition as Andrew but he has heard from other doctors around the continent who have treated these individuals.

After the initial shock from the Listers the doctor continued explaining that these individuals were characterized for having both female and male features but every person was different. In Andrew's case, given he had male genitalia but was showing some female features such as the growth of the breasts indicated that he could have been more of a female than a male at the time he was born but was considered a male for his reproductive organs. Now that he was in his puberty his body was making the changes of both a male and female body. This alarmed both Listers and the doctor tried to reassured them that the young man could still live a normal live, such as has been demonstrated with other cases, just being careful.

For the rest of the evening Dr. Reine tried to explained everything he could and respond as much questions as possible. At the end of the day Jeremy and Andrew were exhausted and confused but got the answers they were looking for. Andrew was worried that after everything they heard his father would disown him, _Was "he" even a he at this point…or ever?_, Would think him a freak?, Something queer?, Would he no longer be his heir?. This and many more questions were going thru his head.

Something in his face must have shown because next thing he knew his father was embracing him in a tight hug in the middle of the street.

His father was never a very affectionate man but he showed him and his sister that he cared for them and now here he was, telling him in a hushed tone that he was his _child, _and no one and_ nothing, _would ever change that. Andrew felt himself wanting to cry, but he didn't. He had a reputation to uphold.

* * *

That night as he was prying before turning in for bed he concluded that God had given him this nature for a reason, a purpose, _a chance_. He remembered what the doctor said that maybe he was a she. Maybe God knew that a spirit as strongly and passionate as his would feel utterly trapped in the current circumstances a woman had to live in. Yes, God have given him the opportunity to be more,_ to do more. _Not just be trapped by society and their standards, their expectations for women. He would embrace his opportunity, _his gift_, with all his might, he wouldn't be ashamed of who or what he was and he would be the best _person _that he could be. He wouldn't make the same mistake that society did.

His future wife would be loved, would want for nothing, but most of all_ would be respected. _She would be someone who would stand_ beside_ him not_ behind_ him. She would be his companion for life before God, his other half, his most trusted confident.

That night as Andrew Lister drifted off to sleep he started to plan for his future wife and their future together.

Little did he know he would be with various women, experience numerous heartbreaks and several years would pass before _the one _appeared before him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was like any other day in Halifax, the weather was perfect for a day out. At least this was the reason her aunt Ann has given her.

"_Let's go to Halifax for a little while dear, you haven't been out of the house much lately."_

Well, Ann would've preferred to spend the rest of the day using her watercolors but she wouldn't say that to her aunt.

They were on their way back to Cliff Hill in her carriage. She preferred the silence that had settle between her aunt and her, choosing to instead admire the view through the small windows. In the distance she could see Shibden Hall and her mind quickly put together the image of a person in particular.

_His singular walking-almost like he was one second away from running-, the confidence with which he held himself, the way he had treated her specially. Such kindness and patience even though she could see that something was really bothering him at the moment. His features… almost too feminine, but in him looked stunning to-_

"Shibden Hall." said her aunt, taking her out of her mind.

"Hmmm," replied Ann after a moment, "Have you ever been inside aunt?"

"The Listers don't invite people… as a rule."

"Wonder why thou."

They didn't talk anymore and Ann was again starting to drift off in her mind. When she began to think on the infamous Andrew Lister she heard the frenetic approach of another carriage and the scream of a little boy.

From then, everything got worse.

* * *

Ann couldn't understand what was happening until Miss Marian Lister and some of her servants came to see the commotion and escorted them to the house, explaining that they could stay with them until everything was calm again and the carriage was in order.

Now here she sat, with the rest of the Lister clan and her aunt, trying to discreetly look all around her. Hoping to see a specific face, but not finding it. _Oh, how she had longed to ever be inside this estate since she was perhaps 19, just talking with the only one Lister that was absent at-_

"He is the Heartcastle boy." continued explaining Miss Marian while Ann started to again pay attention to the conversation. Soon after, she was asked if she'd like some brandy and was about to respond when her aunt beat her to speak.

"Your nice Miss Lister has been our savior." stated aunt Ann in an amazed tone and then directed her attention to the youngest Lister, "You know Miss Marian you reminded me, when you and your servants came to rescue us, of your older brother. You were calm and decisive. You seemed to know just what to do, and I said to Ann… that's exactly how I imagine Mr. Lister would've cope with a crisis."

At the end of her aunt's explanation she was offered the brandy and her attention was quickly driven to the response of the older Miss Lister when asked about the wellbeing of the younger Mr. Lister.

"Oh, Andrew… well he was in Hastings until recently." explained vaguely Miss Lister.

"He is in Hastings." repeated Jeremy Lister in a disapproving tone, "God knows why he's there."

Miss Lister gave him a discreet glare that he ignored and she continued.

"He said he would be visiting some… _friend,_" maybe it was just her imagination but she thought for a moment that she said the word with a tone that she couldn't quite describe, "a Miss Vere Hobart, for a couple of months. She's the-"

"He should be here," interrupted Mr. Lister again with a lighter tone, "this is his state… as he never tires of reminding everyone about it." He finished with a grunt.

Ann continued to observe the little "argument" between the sibling regarding Mr. Lister and his many travels and friends, or as they call some of them… _companions_. She didn't know why the use of the word made her feel unsettled and she didn't have the time to ponder on that because the next thing that Miss Lister said caught her complete attention and made her heart beat faster, which she couldn't quite give an explanation to.

"-Now he's on the way home, we're expecting him on Friday."

"_This_ Friday?" Ann asked before she could stop herself.

Everyone stopped and looked at her, this was the first thing that she's said since entering the house. Ann, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on her, felt her blush spread all over her face. She hadn't meant to say that out loud, her mouth had moved faster than her brain. She got a spur of the moment from hearing that Andrew Lister would be here so soon.

"Yes dear," Miss Lister gave her a sympathetic smile, "he will arrive Friday evening I think, if everything goes well. Maybe you could meet with him if you would like."

"O-oh, well-"

"How long would he be staying?" asked her aunt changing the subject, which Ann was grateful for.

"Oh it's never quite sure with Andrew, he loves to travel all around… England is barely big enough to contain him." she responded with a chuckle.

* * *

A couple of days later Ann was in her sitting room talking with her cousins Mr. and Mrs. Priestley. They have come to pay a visit to her and have a pleasant evening. Ann was grateful for that; she had been feeling rather anxious this past few days and welcomed the distraction.

They were on the subject of the accident with the Lister's tenants last week when James, Ann's most trusted employee, announced that Mr. Samuel Washington wished to speak very shortly with her. Ann rather curious, and after asking her cousins if they would mind, told James to let Mr. Washington come in.

What could it be about, she didn't know, but she was soon informed and _Oh! What a surprise, a very unexpected but pleasant one._

"Mr. Lister of Shibden Hall?" asked Ann to make sure, even though the same name has been said just moments before but she wanted to be _completely sure_.

"Yes ma'am," Ann's heart started to beat faster and her stomach felt taut all of a sudden, "I just wanted to assure you that my work with him won't affect any of my duties here."

_"Oh good Lord, Mr. Lister is here… __**here**__ in Halifax. I haven't seen him since I was nineteen and Elizabeth was here with me. Would he-would he still remember? I don't think so, it was probably so insignificant and boring with me just talking about the most silly things. Oh but he was the most polite and courteous person I have encountered. All evening I wanted to keep looking at him, his face specially. Were it not for his dark clothes and his short hair I would've thought he was a woman from afar."_

Ann was taken out of her musings when she realized Washington wasn't saying anything else and it seemed he was expecting a response from her.

"Oh! Ple-please do tell Mr. Lister that if he needs any sorts of reference for you I would be more than happy to give it."

"I didn't know Mr. Lister was back." interjected Eliza in a happy but polite tone directing her attention to Mr. Washington.

"Oh very much so ma'am."

"We must visit him William!"

"My wife is rather fond of Mr. Lister Miss Walker" confessed William with a happy tone himself. This made Ann show a little shy smile saying to herself that Mrs. Priestley wasn't the only one.

"He collected his own rents as soon as he arrived last week. What with Mr. Bricks not being able to do it, he said he ought to do it himself."

"Of course he did! That's just the kind of man he is. If he has the option to do things himself, he without a doubt will do it. He can't just stay put!" finished Mrs. Priestley with a chuckle.

Ann was always fascinated with whatever information she could get on Mr. Lister, so she was completely focused on what Eliza was saying and couldn't help but ask:

"So you see him-you talk to him often?" she hoped she didn't look or sound as desperate to know as she was feeling, but she just _wanted_ to hear about him.

"Oh quite indeed, well from time to time in the rare occasions that he's in Halifax. You see, I've always been a great champion of Mr. Lister, despite what others say. It is true that sometimes he does seem like a… _rarity_," Ann couldn't understand the use of that particular word to describe Mr. Lister. For her he looked so handsome and just stunning. _What was the so called 'rarity' in him?_ "but he's just acting as his own nature demands and as he himself says: 'When we leave our nature behind, we leave our own steady guide.'"

At hearing those words Ann smiled. That_ indeed_ sounded like something Mr. Lister would say, not that she knew much about him to begin with.

"And we can hardly blame Mr. Lister if nature was in a freak mood on the day she made him right?" asked Mrs. Priestley and everyone seemed to agree with her.

* * *

"Have you ever met him Ann?" Mr. Priestley asked once Mr. Washington was dismissed. Ann's face lighted up at the question and was happy and quick to respond.

"Yes! Once, it was years ago. He came to tea here with me and Elizabeth, after my mother and father had died. He walked in the garden with us and stayed for an hour or two but after that… he-well we never saw him again."

"Oh dear don't make that long face, you at least have met him once. That's more than what most people can say as he's hardly ever here." tried to cheer up Mrs. Priestley.

"We should pay him a visit while he's here," said William to Eliza and then directed his attention to Ann, "and you should come with us Ann, it will do you good. He's a fascinating individual, never a boring moment with him and his many stories from his travels."

"He's very clever and kind. Oh Ann, you must come with us to Shibden Hall, you'll get to see him again and who knows what can happen after." Said Mrs. Priestley with a knowing look in her eyes.

"_Good Lord, seeing Mr. Lister again… Oh that would be a delight, but what if he doesn't even remember me, oh he probably doesn't. He must really have better and more important things to do surely. Washington said he's been very busy since he's been here. I'm sure with the Priestleys it wouldn't be a bother because they've known each other longer but me? But-but, I'd like to at least see him befo-"_

"Ann?"

Ann exalted realized she's been in her own head again and didn't gave an answer to Mr. and Mrs. Priestley. She felt herself blush at the idea that she had made them feel like she ignored them.

"Ann would you come with us?" asked again Eliza.

She pondered her answer for a moment, really torn between what her mind was saying and what she wanted. She so_ longed _to talk or just see him again after that evening but never got the chance to.

That is, until now.

She was not someone who made decisions quickly, she needed time to consider and process things. She was not known for making a spur of the moment decision and take action into it immediately after. Her anxieties wouldn't allow it but… but now, in this moment, she didn't want to listen to them. She _really_ wanted to go, if only to see him and listen to him for a couple of hours.

She just _had a feeling_ that she should go, that this was an "only once" situation and she should-_must_\- take it. And maybe she's ignored this kind of moments in the past for her fears and insecurities but… well not this time, this time she wouldn't ignore that feeling and be left alone and feel guilty and weak for not being able to leave her house.

In fact, she is going with her cousins to pay a visit to Shibden Hall, to Mr. Lister and that's final.

With her new resolution and sudden confidence she looked the couple in the eyes, smiled, and said:

"Yes, I'd like that."


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again everyone! Sorry for the long wait but I just started my senior year of college and well, it started a little bit rougher than I expected. But anyway here we are again so I won't bore you with the details.

I forgot to tell this the past chapters and I think is necessary, English is not my first language, so in advance I apologize for any errors that you find and please if you see any or something I write doesn't make sense point it out to me and I'll correct it.

Also, I wanna say that I'm no writer but this idea wouldn't leave my head and nobody else was writing something like this and I wanted something to complement my fanarts with so here I am.

Anyways, enough about boring things and let's get on with the chapter. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Andrew Lister was not in a good mood. In fact, it was the complete opposite and it has been this way since his return to Halifax a couple of days ago. It all started with his sudden return to this shabby little town after Miss Vere_-soon to be Mrs.-_ had preferred to marry _that captain _over what they were slowly building and could have been.

Then everything got even worse after Mariana_-Mrs. Lawton-_ came to Shibden after he told her about his return.

At first, her arrival had been the same as other times. The knowing glances, the familiar touches, the intimacy of their movements. Andrew and she didn't do much to hide it anyway because nobody in the estate was ignorant to the nature of their relationship after so many years and they would not be foolish enough to say more than a pip about it.

Lunch with his family and Mariana was pleasant enough, even when the subject of Mr. Lawton was mention he didn't even flinch. Knowing that the reason Mary was here in such a short notice was because she preferred him over her husband,_ and she would be in _his_ bed by the end of the evening._

* * *

When night fell they didn't waste any time and soon started to dance the so familiar movements around each other. As always Andrew was on top of her, himself dressed in his night clothes while Mariana was completely naked. He was touching every curve, every sensitive area in her body with the skill only someone familiarized with her body for so many years possessed. Alas, it wasn't long before Mariana came undone before him and he retracted himself from her, cleaning his hand with his sheets and started to write in his journal.

While he was writing down his final details Mariana asked him if he would like her to return the favor, which he denied immediately. _He would take care of himself later, he didn't feel like letting Mariana touch him tonight._

She taunted him, saying that she could _feel him _even with the sheets between them, but he wouldn't budge so she stopped and instead asked him to tell her about Hastings.

That led their conversation to the so familiar topics between them_-the risk of someone finding out about his condition, his insistence on finding a woman who would accept him just as he is and become his wife, the impossibility of that kind of commitment happening, the old wounds of their separation from so many years ago and the fact that he could never find that woman because he _wasn't normal man.

Saying that was a low blow from Mariana's part.

Out of all the lovers he had had over his life only three of them knew the real nature of his anatomy. _Eliza, Mariana and Vere. _Those were the ones he at one point in his life thought would be his last,his_ one._

But all of them had said the same_-What if people find out you're not normal? It's too much a risk, I can't do this-_all of them rejected him because he was something society didn't understand, and when people don't understand they judge and attack and they couldn't risk it. So, each and every time he was left with a broken heart and even more doubt about what was he_-or she-_.

She knew how that would hurt, she knew what that would cause and she still said it. It was true, he wasn't normal_-whatever that means- _but he was still so much more than that. It hurt that all these women_-specially Mary- _couldn't just see the _person_ past it.

Well, no matter. He has trained himself to not let him affect him, he has trained himself to rise above it. He wouldn't let this affect him any more that it already does. He wouldn't give up, he would marry a woman who would commit to him before god and love him just because he is he and nothing else.

Even if that woman was not Mariana.

* * *

Some days after, he was examining his aunt's leg again and name that he hadn't heard in a long time was brought up by none other than her.

"Miss Walker," said his aunt "was very shaken from the accident the other day. Marian is planning to go to Crow Nest to visit her."

"Marian? This Marian?" asked Andrew looking from his aunt's leg to look at her with mischief in his eyes, "well surely she will bore her into a paralytic stupor."

"Andrew…" castigate his aunt with a disapproving tone.

"What? I say only the truth."

"Well then, what about you? Why don't you go visit her? The accident happened in your land."

"Me? Visiting Miss Walker?" he asked as he got up and covered his aunt's leg, "I don't think so… I did once take tea with the Misses Walkers years ago. It was before the older one got married and moved to Scotland."

"Really?"

"Yes… they were dull and stupid. Well, that is too strong a word but in anyway I never visited again, not my kind of company."

A gentle knock on the door was heard in that moment and a second later Mrs. Cordingley opened the door and announced that the Priestleys and_-well would you look at that- _Miss Walker was with them downstairs.

Andrew raised an eyebrow and looked amused at his aunt while she just stayed there with a little smile.

"Well, well, well."

* * *

After making sure that his aunt was comfortable he went downstairs to great his unexpected guests and, from what he could hear, save them from whatever rambling Marian was telling them.

"Mrs. Priestley" called Andrew to simultaneously announce his presence, greet his guests and silence Marian, who he noted glared at him.

"Mr. Lister!" greeted said woman just as she, her husband and his cousin stood up, "we didn't know you were back."

"Well it wasn't exactly planned but here we are." responded Andrew while he shook Mrs. And Mr. Priestley's hand.

"Not until Miss Walker told us yesterday and then we barely could believe it."

In that moment Andrew turned himself around with a big smile to greet his last guest. His smile almost fell off his face in surprise when making eye contact with Miss Walker, but being the gentleman that he was he didn't let it show it on his face and extended his hand to greet her as well.

"Miss Walker," at that she looked down with a little smile on her face_-is she…?-_ "I've heard so much about you lately. How are you?"

He noticed that he only looked at him for a second and then averted his face again, this time he saw the little blush on her face before she spoke.

"I'm-I'm very well, thank you." said Miss Walker as she shook his hand.

"_A little shy are we Miss Walker… or could it be something else?" _thought he with a knowing look in his eyes.

"Good… very good."

After that everyone took their sit again and Andrew was quick to ask his sister to explain the nonsense that he had been listening to while he was coming down the stairs. All the while Marian was talking Andrew wasn't really paying attention and instead preferred to discreetly look at Miss Walker. She's pretty, he'll give her that, but looks aren't everything.

"_She's what? 28? 29?... Has a pretty face and a substantial inheritance at her disposal from what I understand. Surrounded mostly by her tribe an- well, did she just glanced my way? She seems nervous… is it because of my proximity? All things pointing in the same direction… Well, well, well, do you want to do a little experiment Miss Walker?"_

Andrew was put out of his amusing thoughts when he heard his aunt coming down the stairs and he rapidly got up to help her. His aunt was grateful but said it was unnecessary and asked everyone else to sit again after seeing that everyone was standing to greet her.

"Sit here aunt," instructed Andrew while he pointed at the space he was just siting on and he stayed on the other side of Miss Walker.

"Miss Walker, how nice to see you again. How are you?" asked Miss Lister while she passed.

"I-I wanted to take the opportunity of vi-visiting again, with my cousins, to say thank you… again, for your kind hospitality to me an-and my aunt the other day."

Everyone took their sits and Andrew remained standing for a couple of seconds more until he decided to put his theory to the test and see Miss Walker's reactions. He sat in the armchair next to the woman and extended his arm in the back of the furniture.

He noticed that Miss Walker tensed a little and looked his way. He offered her a smile and she return it with a shy but nervous one before looking down at her hands again with a giggle.

"_Trying to hide her blush perhaps?"_

"Did we catch you in a bad moment Mr. Lister?"

"Oh no, I was just examining my aunt and I was almost done anyway." responded Andrew to Eliza after his little moment with Miss Walker.

"Is she unwell? Perhaps we should call for Dr. Kenny as he's usually who sees her right?"

"Nonsense, I'm a perfectly capable doctor myself, why would I call for someone else?" said Andrew offhandedly and added with a little bit of humor, "Besides, I think Dr. Kenny is an odd little man," he directed his attention to Miss Walker. "Don't you think Miss Walker? Mincing walk… makes me suspicious."

"Of what?" Miss Walker asked with a smile on her face while she was looking at him.

"I'm not sure." responded he with the same amusement.

"_I think we have something here Miss Walker."_

She again looked away from him, almost giggling, but this time it was because Mrs. Priestley started talking to her.

"You need to be careful Ann, Mr. Lister keeps a journal."

"Oh he's famous for his journal." added Mr. Priestley.

"He records everything, absolutely everything in great detail."

Andrew noted that while the Priestleys were talking Miss Walker was totally immersed in listening to them.

"_Isn't she a curious little thing?"_

"You must be sure to stay on the right side of him, otherwise you might end up in it." finished explaining Mr. Priestley in jest.

Miss Walker laughed a little and Andrew decided to intervene there. Getting the attention of the woman next to him again.

"You don't have to offend me to grace the pages of my journal," he explained to the Priestleys and the looked at Miss Walker. "Sometimes I write about people I really like." He finished with a smile and this time the smile on Miss Walker's face was not nervous, just delighted.

The conversation continued but he wasn't paying any attention anymore, he had just found something more interesting and perhaps _promising_ where he had least expected it.

"_Should I make up to Miss Walker? Though I think she scarcely knows so herself, I can see that the poor girl is very interested in me… I would even dare to say a little bit in love with me. And what she lacks in rank she certainly makes up for in fortune."_

* * *

Marian and Andrew were outside along with the Priestleys and Miss Walker to vid them farewell. One of Ann's servants stopped the carriage in front of them and before he could move to open the door for them Andrew moved in his usual rapid manner to open the door and extended his hand to Miss Walker to help her get in.

"Miss Walker, if you would let me."

Ann for her part was a little surprised with the gesture but nevertheless she gladly accepted his offer with a blush on her face before getting into the carriage. After her, Mr. Priestley helped the same way his wife.

"T-thank you Mr. Lister."

"It was a pleasure seeing you again Miss Walker."

And with that Andrew closed the door of the carriage and watched as they faded away in the distance. But not before seeing the beaming smile in Miss Walker's face.

So many things have changed in the span of a few hours. Just this morning he was already planning his next journey. When to depart, where to go, what friends to visit… but now, he was thinking that maybe…_just maybe…_

"_Shall I stay here, at Shibden, and restore it to its former glory… and endeavor to make wealthy little Miss Walker… _my wife_."_

Yes, he decided after a moment, he certainly shall.

* * *

Well this is as far as we'll get in this chapter. Hope everyone liked it. Thoughts, doubts, suggestions? Is the pace too fast? Too slow? Good? Just tell me what you think about the story or maybe something that you would like to see here.

Btw, I'm an illustrator, or trying to be at least, and I got really excited about how Andrew would look like so here it is, hope everyone likes it:

(imjustjeremy)dot(tumblr)dotcom/post/187222835469/gentleman-jack-au-andrew-lister

If the link doesn't work you can just look for me on tumblr: imjustjeremy. If everything goes well and the story is well received I'll post some fanarts I make of this little AU of mine there.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a while but here is the next chapter. Hope everyone enjoys.

* * *

"_Well she _is_ certainly rich…"_

That was his first thought as he neared the estate belonging to Miss Walker. It was no small thing and only confirmed the speculations about how much money Miss Walker possessed.

"_Even if we are not entirely happy with one another we can still have a good life with all that money."_

As he neared the front door, knocked and waited for a servant to answer he looked at himself in the reflection and fixed his collar and moved some strands of hair.

"_One must always present their best,_" He mused as someone answer the door, _"Finally!"_

Before the man in front of him could even open his mouth he talked. Normally most people took the hint.

"Mr. Lister for Miss Walker, is she in?"

Of course she was in. From what he gathered about her she wasn't one for being out or socializing too much and that left little possibility of him being wrong, but he wouldn't tell that to the man looking at him.

"Mr. Lister you said? I'll inform Miss Walker in a moment, please come in."

The servant stepped aside and waited until Andrew was inside to close the door before letting him waiting while he went to inform his employer of the unexpected arrival. Andrew was fine with it, that gave him the chance to look around a little bit. In a mirror he caught his reflection and again fixed his hair. In the background he heard the servant and Miss Walker talking before the footsteps of the man became louder. That was his cue to move.

"Miss Walker will see you now Mr. Lister."

Andrew was directed to the sitting room where Miss Walker was already standing to greet him.

"Mr. Lister."

"Miss Walker… I was just passing and I thought I'd stop by." He finished with a charming smile and saw Miss Walker return his with a shy one of her own. She looked at him for a few more seconds and as if snapping out of a trance she talked.

"Please! Do come in, sit down." She gestured him to get closer.

He needn't be told twice. He gave the servant his things and waited for him to go to continue talking to his current interest. Miss Walker noticed this and made a subtle gesture to her employee to go, he got the message and walked to the door.

"Thank you, James."

Once they were alone Andrew moved closer but not close enough to be imposing. He didn't want to scare her or make her feel overwhelmed. First, he wanted to see her reactions to his presence without other people around and see if his previous theories were correct.

He quickly started to move around the room to inspect it more closely but he really just wanted to move a little bit, he didn't like being still for too long.

"You know I haven't been in this room in years." He stated to open the conversation.

"It-It was after my mother died that you visited us." Miss Walker was following him with her eyes from her place in the center of the room.

"Was it?"

"She died, quite suddenly after my father… I-I don't know if you remember. Y-you came to tea-for tea, with me and my sister Elizabeth," Miss Walker had a little smile on her face. From what he could see she was trying not to stutter too much.

"_She doesn't seem to feel intimidated, more like embarrassed or nervous. Is that because of me Miss Walker? This could be even easi-"_

"-Y-you probably had no idea at the time but… you made my whole world a little bit brighter that day."

That caught Andrew off guard, he had an idea of the interest that little Miss Walker had for him, but he didn't expect to be told that he had caused such a big impression on her during an encounter he remembered as dull as he did.

"I remember it very distinctly, very fondly." Miss Walker seem to hesitate for a moment before adding, "I-I must confess Mr. Lister, at first I-I mistook you for… a woman-"This made him lift his eyebrows. Not in surprise, but at the sudden confession. Miss Walker thought she somehow offended him and quickly added in a panicked voice. "I mean, just at a first glance. You-you were backwards and your hair, although short, was held in a low ponytail. The-then you turned your head and I recognized you… Oh god I'm sorry Mr. Lister. I have offended you, I should have never said anything…"

Miss Walker started to play a lot with her hands and wouldn't look at him. She seemed to be having difficulty to breathe. Andrew recognized the symptoms of the beginning of an anxiety attack and quickly was at Miss Walker's side to try and help her.

"Miss Walker-Miss Walker look at me please." Andrew gently took her hands and guided her to sit on the sofa, "Please Miss Walker, listen to me. I'm not offended, not at all, you just caught me off guard that's all. Really, I'm not insulted or mad at you."

"R-really?" the question was asked with such panic and uncertainty. Mr. Lister being a little bolder took her head in his hands and made her look at him.

"Miss Walker, why would I lie to you?" he asked while looking at her directly in the eyes.

"I-I don't know-just-"

"I don't have the slightest intention of lying, believe me please. I'm being completely honest when I say that I am not offended." He retracted his hands from Miss Walker's face and took one of her hands in his own, "Let me tell you something: It was probably not the first time someone mistook me for a woman, it happens from time to time. Nothing to feel worried about Miss Walker really, I was not insulted."

And he was being honest with that last part. He wasn't really offended when someone who didn't know him sometimes thought he was a woman from afar-_a very unusual woman _they would think-because that has happened since he was a child. Though, he did got offended when people thought that it was right for them to make fun of him for looking a little different, but that was something that he had trained himself to not let him bother him as much as it used to.

He noticed that Miss Walker didn't looked completely convinced and was still struggling to breathe. He decided to help her get through her anxiety attack.

"It's alright Miss Walker, please breathe the same way that I do," he took some deep breaths and waited for the woman next to him to do the same. When she started to repeat him he continued, "Excellent Miss Walker, you're doing just fine. Now please tell me, what did I looked like back then? What do you remember of that moment? Can you tell me some details please?"

"Y-yes of course," she answered after taking some deep breaths, "you were-you were wearing a long coat, black, and trousers of the same color. You were also wearing a vest, grey I think…"

"What did my hair looked like?" interrupted he subtly. His attempt at making her focus on other things seemed to be working. She was starting to relax again, now he just needed to keep grounding her and her little episode would pass.

"O-oh, your hair," she looked at him a little insecure but he gave her a reassuring look and she continued, "It was long, for a man I mean. It-it was a little bit down your shoulders and you had it tied at the base of your neck. That combined with you being backwards made me think that you were a-a woman."

"See Miss Walker? It was just a little mistake. Like I said, nothing to be worried about. I must confess, at that time I was having some personal problems and I let my appearance unattended for a while, so no fault on your part. It was just the circumstances."

That seemed to be the final point to make Miss Walker relax again and showed him a relieved smile. She started to talk more.

"Oh good lord, I remember running after you when I recognized who you were. I raced after you and invited you to tea," she described without looking at him but with a little smile, "I was so embarrassed about it afterwards thinking about how silly and foolish I must have seemed to you."

"Now that you said it I only remember how animated you looked." at that Miss Walker seemed more relaxed, "feeling better now?"

"Quite indeed Mr. Lister, thank you… oh I feel so embarrassed that you saw me in that state. I caused you a lot of trouble." She said looking down at her hands. She noticed that her left hand was still within his own.

"Trouble? No trouble at all Miss Walker. It was an anxiety attack and I as a doctor helped you get through it."

"Anxiety attack? Ho-how do you know?" she asked looking at him again.

He gave her a gentle smile and started to explain.

"Dr. Stephen Belcome is a dear friend of mine and a fellow doctor, although he specializes in an area different than mine. He focuses in matters of the mind and has taught me a thing or two."

After that he continued to explain to her some of the things Steph had taught him. A little bit about their friendship, some memories from his many travels and his experiences during university in Paris.

"_Miss Hobart was indeed a pleasant experience in Paris." _he thought as he told Miss Walker about his years abroad.

* * *

"_Well four hours for a first meeting is not bat, not bad at all."_

Andrew was coming back to Shibden after saying goodbye to Miss Walker. As always, he preferred to walk instead of using his carriage or a horse, besides Crow Nest was not that far from Shibden Hall and he was enjoying the weather. His new plan was filling him with energy.

"_What intrigued me was her poor opinion about her, calling herself an invalid. She didn't seem like one to me, maybe just a little shy and insecure but nothing a little motivation can't cure and I can certainly help her with that."_

"Mr. Lister!" at hearing his name he turned around and immediately recognized Samuel Washington.

"_Right, I sent for him, almost forgot."_

"Good afternoon Washington, what did you find?" straight to the point as always, he preferred it that way.

"So coal." started to explain Mr. Washington.

* * *

After some meeting regarding the coal business and visiting the poor Hardcastle boy he was at Shibden again having dinner with his family.

As always everyone was silent eating their meal, he preferred it that way and it was easier for him to talk at once.

He was holding a crystal glass doing little motions with his middle finger. After a couple of seconds looking at his family he put the glass down with a notorious thud to gather everyone's attention. Once the rest of the Lister clan stopped and looked at him he talked.

"I'm going to make some improvement to the state… I thought I'd run them past you father, so you know what's going on, so-" he talked the last bit directed to his father.

"In case I may have an opinion?" the sarcasm in his father's question wasn't lost to Andrew but he ignored it.

"Yes, so Im going to construct an ornamental walk…" he told them where the construction would take place among the land. When he was finishing Marian _-as always- _interrupted him.

"Why?"

"Because it would look elegant Marian," he answered without looking at her and continued, "then at the top of Lower Brook Ing I'm going to construct an ornamental moss house, or a chaumiere, just a small one."

"A what?"

"What for?"

His father and sister asked at the same time interrupting him again. He was starting to get annoyed but decided to let it pass and directed his attention to his father, ignoring his sister completely.

"A chaumiere, like a summer house. Like an ornament-"

"A shed?" interrupted Marian again with her best 'obvious' tone.

That made him stop and he could feel his right eye twitch. He was about to reprimand Marian when he caught the look his aunt was giving him as if she was reading his mind and asking him not to do it. He opted to let it pass again and continued as if Marian hadn't said anything.

"Then, at the same time, I'm going to put up all of the hedges in all of the fields below the hall."

"Why though?"

"Really?"

Andrew felt his eye twitch again. Why was everyone interrupting him today?

* * *

The next day he was again at Crow Nest, this time taking a walk through the gardens with Miss Walker. They were talking about her family and some sort of _'investments'_ that some of her family members wanted her to make.

"_Right, they protect her from gold diggers and the such, but they have no qualm in asking for something in return, preferably if that is the same money."_

They stopped at the beginning of the main walk to the back entrance of Crow Nest and that's when Andrew decided to give a little help to Miss Walker.

"What you need, Miss Walker, is a well-written letter."

After that Andrew asked Miss Walker to choose a place where they would do just that. They ended in the drawing room, Miss Walker writing while Andrew gave her a few recommendations in what to write to her cousin.

"You see, it would've taken me… three weeks to compose a letter- a firm, clear letter like this." confessed Miss Walker writing the last details on the paper, "What with tying myself up in knots trying not to offend and then I'd been so anxious about sending the thing that I would probably never send it and just give him the money."

"You are a very kind, good-nature person Miss Walker. Who just need a little bit more confidence."

At that Miss Walker looked down at the letter before looking at him again and moving to sit in one of the chairs. Mr. Lister followed closely behind her.

"It is confidence, isn't it?" she asked softly while taking a seat and without waiting for a response continued. "I've never had any."

"_The poor thing, at first I thought she was just shy but now I can see that her withdrawn nature may be a result of the constant judgment of her family. If we marry I'll make sure to- wait, excursion? holiday?"_

"The Lake District you said?" he asked after Miss Walker told him about her little travel with her cousin. A Miss Catherine Rawson.

He moved from behind Miss Walker's chair to sit on the one next to her.

"Yes, for three weeks. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spendi-"

"_Three weeks? Wait for three weeks until her return? This is not what I had planned at all. And with a Rawson of all people, seems they have a thing for interfering in my plans all the time. This is un-"_

He was unexpectedly torn out of his musing by a sharp pain in his hand. He looked down and realized he had broken Miss Walker's paper knife and cut himself.

"_Great! Just what I needed."_

"Oh god, you're bleeding!" Miss Walker took a tissue from the small table next to her chair and gave it to Andrew.

"I can replace it." stated Andrew while applying pressure to the little wound.

"If-if you like. Are you alright?"

Andrew wasn't really listening. He was more focused on his anger with himself for loosing his temper about the unexpected news of Miss Walker's travel. He started to talk and try to make things better but wasn't really paying attention.

"I don't know what with-"

"It doesn't matter-"

"-Because of course it would never have the same sentimental value. Whatever I replace it with beca-"

"I-I think it would."

Hearing that Andrew looked at Miss Walker with surprise and saw the sincerity in her eyes. Again, she left him speechless. Her fondness for him seemed to run much deeper that he initially thought

"_What is it with you Miss Walker? What is the true nature of your affection?" _he asked himself while maintaining eye contact with said woman and once again she surprised him with her next actions.

"Let me." She said at the same time that she kneeled before him without waiting for his response. She took his injured hand in her own and started to apply pressure like he was doing before.

Andrew felt-well he didn't know how he felt right now. Miss Walker was turning out to be a basket full of surprises. Few people could claim to render him speechless. He was intrigued-captivated even-with Miss Walker at this moment. What he thought would be an easy and dull conquest was becoming something that really got his attention.

And now the focus of his attention has getting away from him. On a vacation. It wasn't really that big of a problem, he could wait, he _would_ wait, but the thought of not seeing her was certainly starting to bother him. He wanted to have her attention on him, just them, like they were right now.

"Would you like to come to Switzerland with me?" he asked before he could stop himself. For a moment he panicked. It was too soon, too unexpected to ask such thing to Miss Walker. But now that he asked he couldn't retract his words, it would look poor.

Hearing the surprising question Miss Walker focused her attention on his face instead of his hand unable to formulate a word.

"In the spring," he added seeing Miss Walker at a lost of words. He just started to talk, he didn't even know why he was saying all his future traveling plans, "I can't go any sooner with my aunt, with her leg, she has ulcers. And Shibden… I'm planning some renovations which I must oversee otherwise they won't be done properly."

At that Miss Walker tried to contain a little laugh. Andrew took this as a good signal and continued. The more he talked the more exited Miss Walker seemed to become, when he finished she was biting her lower lip trying to suppress a big smile.

"I-I've never been abroad."

"_That isn't a yes, but it isn't a no also. She seems very excited with the idea though."_

He took her hands in his own and gave a little squeeze to encourage her.

"Well then, you haven't lived."

_"I think it's safe to say that we will travel together. The idea of traveling seems to fascinate her and I can certainly show her amazing places. Though I see that I must be uncommonly and fastidiously delicate with her… I believe that I shall succeed with her. Miss Walker must certainly can become… my wife."_

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. What did you guys think? Too slow? too fast? Good? Bad? Let me know.

Btw I wanna say that some things are gonna change while others will remain the same and others I would mix a little bit. I don't want to make a carbon copy of the show because that would be so boring and with Anne being Andrew in this universe things are bound to be different.

If there's something in particular that you would like to see let me know and I'll see what I can do :)


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